It’s important to make a good impression at mealtime, and your table manners can say a lot about your sense of personal style.
There are all kinds of opportunities to impress, such as dates, meeting the parents, lunch with the boss, not to mention the Holidays, plus more and more job interviews are being done over a dinner table.
One faux pas and you can kiss that promotion goodbye or never get to kiss the blind date across from you!
“You should wipe your spoon before passing it to a neighbour.”
“Do not blow your nose with the same hand that you use to hold the meat”
— Erasmus, Dutch humanist and author of the first modern book of manners in 1526.
Maybe we’ve gotten more civilized since then, or maybe not!
Your napkin is always placed somewhere within your dining territorial borders.
As soon as you are seated, unfold your napkin and place it on your lap. The napkin remains on your lap (except for use) until the end of the meal.
If you need to leave the table temporarily, you may leave the napkin in your chair as a signal to the waiter that you will be returning.
Use your napkin before drinking from a glass or cup.
At the conclusion of the meal, place your napkin partly folded, never crumpled, at the left of your plate. Even a paper napkin should never be crushed and tossed into your plate.
Nowhere is a lack of training more quickly betrayed than at the table. Below are the ten most common faux pas in social dining and how you can avoid them!
1. Which is my water, bread plate, napkin???
If you remember: liquids on the right, solids on the left, you’ll never eat someone else’s bread again!
This is a clever way to remember:
Make “OK” signs with both of your hands:
The left hand makes the letter “b” for bread!
The right hand makes the letter “d” for drinks!
2. The Place Setting
The traditional place setting has the forks on the left side and knives (always turned inward facing the plate) and spoons on the right side. The silver is placed in order of use so that you can follow the rule “begin at the outside and work in” towards the plate!
3. No Oars!
Once silverware is picked up from the table it NEVER touches the table again. Place it on the outer rim of the plate between bites, but never rest silver gangplank fashion, half on the table and half on the plate.
4. When to Start
– in gatherings of six or less people, begin eating only after everyone is served. For larger groups, such as banquets, it is customary to start eating after four or five people have been served, or permission is granted from those not yet served.
5. Bread and rolls are broken off into bite-size pieces
and butter is spread on each bite as you eat it. Never use a knife to cut the bread, nor butter a whole slice at once!
Butter should be taken when passed, and placed onto your bread plate, never directly onto your bread.
6. Dishes are passed from left to right
When a waiter serves you, food will be presented on your left, and the dish will be removed from your right side when you’ve finished.
7. Salt and pepper are always passed together
even if someone asks you only for the salt. They are considered “married” in proper dining circles.
8. Hold a stemmed glass by the stem!
This is to prevent chilled drinks, such as white wine from becoming warmed by your hand, but it holds for non-chilled drinks as well.
9. The finish
When you are finished with each course your knife (blade turned inward) and fork should be placed beside each other on the plate diagonally from upper left to lower right (11 to 5 if you imagine your plate as a clock face). This is a signal to the waiter that you are finished. And don’t push your plate away or otherwise rearrange your dishes from their position when you are finished.
There are two styles of eating, Continental and American.
In the Continental style, which is more practical, the knife (for right handed folks) is kept in the right hand and the fork in the left, with no switching unlike the zigzag practice of the American style where the fork is changed from the left hand to the right after cutting food.
