PROPER TABLE MANNERS & DINING ETIQUETTE

By Ask Andy About Clothes

It’s important to make a good impression at mealtime, and your table manners can say a lot about your sense of personal style.

There are all kinds of opportunities to impress, such as dates, meeting the parents, lunch with the boss, not to mention the Holidays, plus more and more job interviews are being done over a dinner table.

One faux pas and you can kiss that promotion goodbye or never get to kiss the blind date across from you!

“You should wipe your spoon before passing it to a neighbour.”

“Do not blow your nose with the same hand that you use to hold the meat”

— Erasmus, Dutch humanist and author of the first modern book of manners in 1526.

Maybe we’ve gotten more civilized since then, or maybe not!

Your napkin is always placed somewhere within your dining territorial borders.

As soon as you are seated, unfold your napkin and place it on your lap. The napkin remains on your lap (except for use) until the end of the meal.

If you need to leave the table temporarily, you may leave the napkin in your chair as a signal to the waiter that you will be returning.

Use your napkin before drinking from a glass or cup.

At the conclusion of the meal, place your napkin partly folded, never crumpled, at the left of your plate. Even a paper napkin should never be crushed and tossed into your plate.

Nowhere is a lack of training more quickly betrayed than at the table. Below are the ten most common faux pas in social dining and how you can avoid them!

1. Which is my water, bread plate, napkin???

If you remember: liquids on the right, solids on the left, you’ll never eat someone else’s bread again!

This is a clever way to remember:

Make “OK” signs with both of your hands:

 

The left hand makes the letter “b” for bread!
The right hand makes the letter “d” for drinks!

2. The Place Setting

The traditional place setting has the forks on the left side and knives (always turned inward facing the plate) and spoons on the right side. The silver is placed in order of use so that you can follow the rule “begin at the outside and work in” towards the plate!

3. No Oars!

Once silverware is picked up from the table it NEVER touches the table again. Place it on the outer rim of the plate between bites, but never rest silver gangplank fashion, half on the table and half on the plate.

4. When to Start

– in gatherings of six or less people, begin eating only after everyone is served. For larger groups, such as banquets, it is customary to start eating after four or five people have been served, or permission is granted from those not yet served.

5. Bread and rolls are broken off into bite-size pieces

and butter is spread on each bite as you eat it. Never use a knife to cut the bread, nor butter a whole slice at once!

Butter should be taken when passed, and placed onto your bread plate, never directly onto your bread.

6. Dishes are passed from left to right

When a waiter serves you, food will be presented on your left, and the dish will be removed from your right side when you’ve finished.

7. Salt and pepper are always passed together

even if someone asks you only for the salt. They are considered “married” in proper dining circles.

8. Hold a stemmed glass by the stem!

This is to prevent chilled drinks, such as white wine from becoming warmed by your hand, but it holds for non-chilled drinks as well.

9. The finish

When you are finished with each course your knife (blade turned inward) and fork should be placed beside each other on the plate diagonally from upper left to lower right (11 to 5 if you imagine your plate as a clock face). This is a signal to the waiter that you are finished. And don’t push your plate away or otherwise rearrange your dishes from their position when you are finished.

There are two styles of eating, Continental and American.

In the Continental style, which is more practical, the knife (for right handed folks) is kept in the right hand and the fork in the left, with no switching unlike the zigzag practice of the American style where the fork is changed from the left hand to the right after cutting food.

 

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7 KEYS TO BECOMING A CLASSY WOMAN

By Renee, The Feminine Woman (Love & Attraction for Feminine Woman)

Traditionally, classy means to be stylish and elegant; respectable and lovely. However, I find the traditional definition and ideas of how to be classy can be slightly limiting, depending on how you interpret it.

So let’s re-define classy in a better way: a genuine, feminine and high quality woman who holds herself and thinks of herself highly regardless of what life circumstances may present, and despite what other people may think.

A classy woman does not judge herself regardless of what mistakes she might make and knows that aiming for perfection is really failure because it is just a way to beat yourself up inside.

That being said, here are the 7 Keys to becoming a classy woman.

1. You should start by being a high quality woman and projecting (marketing) yourself as such.

You cannot be high class if you don’t THINK you are high class. You have to start by believing you are top stuff. (If you’re wondering how to do that, please see the next dot-point). It’s your job to market what you have, and to market yourself, you have to believe you are it.

Marketing yourself doesn’t mean to yell and shout about yourself (far from it). Marketing yourself – is all about holding yourself highly, and acting so (impeccable self-respect, NOT carelessness). There’s a difference. For example, the difference between making a mistake and “not giving a ****” and making a mistake, acknowledging it, and proceeding to move on and do better.

2. Develop rituals that support your sense or self-worth.

As I stated above, a classy woman is a woman with a high sense of self-worth. And high self-worth only comes from knowing you are worthy.

However – you can only truly know, and feel, with certainty that you are worthy when you DO enough, ACCOMPLISH enough, and GIVE enough (to yourself and others) that you have little choice but to give yourself utmost respect.

So – develop rituals: whether that be a daily practice of gratitude, A daily resolve to push a little further on your spiritual path with your spouse or your children, a daily practice of viewing life as a playground rather than a battleground and looking for the evidence to support that belief, a daily ritual of giving love rather than judgments – it’s up to you.

These rituals are a way to make you actually feel great about yourself.

3. A high class woman rarely loses her cool.

There are, of course, situations in which a woman will feel and seem crazy, needs to raise her voice and get angry and that is fine.

However, the point here is not to just not lose your cool, or not to have anger, it’s about having the mindset that allows you to move forward and not damage things with people unnecessarily because of your need to feel better and significant in a moment, in a misunderstanding with someone who means a lot to you, or any other difficult situation.

This is about a confidence in yourself to be able to handle anything that happens. I know this is not easy, because sometimes, we feel very uncertain, vulnerable, lost, unloved, hurt, shocked, and overwhelmed. We all have those moments – but remember, it is what you do about it, most of the time (not some of the time) that counts. (Please see dot point 2 for a strategy on what to do). It really goes back to valuing yourself.

4. Great Posture.

Probably one of the most important attributes a classy woman must have is great posture. The reason posture is so important is because it affects how others perceive you a lot more than you could imagine. If a woman holds herself highly, she usually has great posture and people are drawn to this. As humans, we are all drawn to people or things that seem to be of high value, and to humans who project themselves as high value. We want the best because it means a better experience, a better quality of life, more safety (at a primal level, mostly in our subconscious).

5. Authenticity, authenticity, AUTHENTICITY.

Contrary to popular belief, being classy and elegant isn’t about “self-control” or holding things in.

Always be authentic. A classy woman doesn’t fake happiness. This is false advertising, and false marketing! You can be grieving, or experiencing emotional suffering, and still be classy. All you have to do is acknowledge the pain, perhaps share your feelings with others, but still hold yourself with grace and poise.

A lot of women are actually feeling hurt at a given time but pretend to be the happy mother, friend or wife, because they don’t want to have the identity of being silly or overly sensitive. Drop the identity thing and go for authenticity. Authenticity rules over anything. More than ever now, people are starting to want what is real. We all prefer to be around what is real.

In the old days, it was a lot about ‘show’ and keeping ‘face’. Now, things are becoming more transparent. Also, we are sick of living in a fast-paced environment where people are always climbing the corporate ladder, valuing ‘things’ or money, and we want people who are clear rather than obscure.

6. Be True to Yourself

You cannot be classy unless you are true to yourself, so stay true to your feminine core and be OK being a woman. Don’t view having long hair as a drag, put the effort in to looking pretty and beautiful – women are supposed to look and more importantly, be attractive. This is only going to happen when you exude femininity, however.

It’s not about wanting to change what you’ve been given, or being superficial, it’s simply about taking pride in your femininity and your appearance.

Many younger as well as middle-aged women simply let themselves go. They get fat, stop combing or styling their hair nicely (or cut it in to a short style that their husband hates), stop making the time to exercise, eat well or socialize.

Letting your appearance go can sometimes be a tell tale sign that you habitually feel bad about yourself, your life, or that you don’t care about yourself, which negates class.

Aging is not an issue for a classy woman. Age can and often does do wonderful things for a woman – including giving her added class, if she loves herself. Meryl Streep is a prime example.

7. Dress modestly where it fits.

Don’t turn up to a classy function with your breasts overflowing. I have noticed that a lot of women use their large breast size as an excuse for not being able to keep them out-of-view. Regardless of breast size, small or large – a woman can choose to put them on show or not.

Don’t turn up to your father’s 50th in a backless dress with plunging neck-line and a hem that barely passes your hip bone.

At certain times, or on certain occasions (social or private), it’s fine to show leg or cleavage. However, you must have the awareness and self-respect to judge correctly.

Make sure there are some nicely tailored dresses and pants in your wardrobe that are form-fitting, well-made and good quality. Even if you can only afford one or two pieces. It’s worth it.

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